Monday, May 21, 2012

everything to lose

she said you have nothing to lose and everything to find.

and i shook my head because i knew i didn't have nothing to lose. i had taken a long look inside that crazy heart of mine and everything in there needed to be pulled out into the air and rearranged before it was put back in. and then i took another look and realized most of it couldn't go back in. so much of it was just junk and mess and even cleaning it wouldn't help. it just needed to be gotten rid of.

it's all still in there. it takes a lot of courage to do spring cleaning, i will have you know. it only comes one step at a time, and they're all baby steps. really small baby steps.

i have everything to lose, i told her. how do you let go? how do you just pull it all out? and she nodded and said i don't know but i think it is worth it.

i said i guess so and said that i would work on it.

baby steps.  

[and a lot of trust]

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