August and everything after

goals:

weaving words until they're allright,
stilling heart until it rests the whole night.
painting colors until my fingers bleed,
failing a hundred until maybe succeed.
singing the melodies played inside,
reviving loves that quietly died.
hugs that will hold more than a moment,
inner deep rhythm motions a frequent.
larger tea cups and books a lot longer,
nighttime cries to persevere stronger.
writing more hope
and playing more sweet tunes,
seeing more sunrises,
more watching our waning moons.

i am rather an ambitious optimist. it's been a year since last August when new chapters started. i think i am trying too hard to finish those chapters and start new ones. should i be ending them? i'm not sure i've even reached the climax yet.

for what it's worth, i'm actually excited. it is a subdued, curious excitement, but it is excitement still. more dangerous business; stepping out my front door again. i am so far from comfortable that even my feet are worried. but this stepping out is where the excitement starts. you never know what adventures are waiting.

one last goal i forgot to mention: cling not to anything but the Person and Love of Christ. considering from experience that it's the only way to be in any way stable, i think it's a good idea. resolutions. blech. i am so bad at keeping them. God, pour out your grace. (pressing on)