we call it emotional recall.
it is a method of acting which requires actors
to call on the memory of details
from a similar situation to those of their characters.
you have to remember what you felt
in those situations in order to know how
to feel it again.
sometimes the roots of all we cannot control
seem too deep to be pulled out.
and i can too easily whisper in the dark
"if only it was an enemy bigger
than my apathy,
i might have won."
and the roots of my apathy
are deep, deep, deep.
they are cruel, heartless, strangle holds
that feel so much stronger than me.
and feeling happiness or joy or anything at all
seems a silly, insignificant idea.
but the feel that engulfs you now,
and the seem that is so hard to undo,
are never as real as the joy that you are waiting for.
they are never so strong as the calm of peace
that you desire even underneath
all your heavy weight of apathy.
and that's when the emotional recall
of all your days of feeling too much
becomes a necessity.
you are created with a heart
that has capacities for feeling so much deeper
than you've even experienced yet.
and i promise, it will not be held empty