structural collapse

i wish
to take back every wrong
to rewind
the song
that first left me falling.
maybe
if we changed the lyrics
we wouldn't fall
quite so fast,
these fragile structures would be slower
to collapse.

second guessing
every thought and feeling
i discovered--
was it just my heart's invention?
stupid,
careless,
could i rewrite our past
without all my
silly
good intention?

me here,
crying,
doesn't change a single thing.
you'd be
flying,
if i'd kept my heart hidden
and never tried
your song to sing.

fighting dragons,
but new heads emerge,
with every blow
my efforts grow too tired and slow.
buffeting winds change
to lonesome, empty, chilling surge.

foggy pathways
lead to dead ends
and i don't even know
how to turn around.
i lost my heart
and in one more stupid move,
i am lying helpless
on the cold and dusty ground.

i would say i'm sorry
but i don't know how.
ask for forgiveness,
but does it make a difference now?

do you remember when i built these walls?
paper mountains and then i sat and watched them burn?

for just one moment hear the only thing i know how to say to you.
please forgive me.

and finally all the walls have come crashing down.
i think i need a new foundation.